DEATH OF A TELEMARKETER

First of all, I'd like to address that when your parents, teachers, and guidance counselors all told you that with a positive attitude, life could be peachy always, it was a blatant lie. It went like this:
I took up a job as a telemarketer on July 13th. About twelve cumulative hours later, I quit. Why, you might ask? Because it's telemarketing, you douche bag. And if you ever want your self esteem systematically punched in the lungs, then by all means, take up a job as a telemarketer. I've realized that spending four hours a day on the phone with people who probably (no, definitely) hate you was never, ever going to be worth the $7.15 earned hourly for doing so.
I just wanted to share this pearl of wisdom with you: telemarketing, no matter how uppity of an attitude you might be harboring, isn't peachy. Or at least it wasn't for me. And I felt the need to bark about it here. Thank you and good night.

I felt life and love and hope infest in my bones

So, life really does go on.

I quit my job.
I like someone and he likes me too (this fact, I think, makes everything brighter)
There's leftover Pizza Hut in the fridge downstairs.
I'm learning how to drive.
I have tons of old clothes to sell for some cash at The Attic sometime soon, so I'll be able to buy a nice summer dress and save the rest for future mini-investments here and there.


And frankly, there is little else I can really ask for right now.
I'm happy.

The Runaway

What makes you think I'm enjoyin' being led to the flood?
We got another thing comin' undone.
And it's takin' us over.

ready to go

These are times that can't be weathered and
we have never been back there since then

Okay. I was wrong. It was a day where something big went wrong.

Where everything went wrong.

And now I'm crying again.


I'm so fucking stupid.

today was either

a day where nothing went wrong

or a day where something big went wrong.

my hopes lie with the first one. because although i'm not going to be stupid, i don't want to continue being this heartbroken girl.


at any rate, this is life, and i'm probably wrong. my hopes are not high.