sincerely.

Signal the depressing ass music, because this is where i go back for a moment to the land of the rising sun. to be honest, i'm still not sure whether i took my heart with me on the plane, because i feel as if something has been missing since i've come home. something in me was different when i arrived at the philly airport that night, and i came to expect that a night like this would come where that feeling wouldn't sit well enough with me for me to not talk about it. i have to say something, so i figured i'd write about it. few people would care enough to hear my rants on how much i miss japan. emily, i think, or eddy wouldn't mind, but they're not here with me. but i wish they were, dearly, dearly, dearly.
flipping through my scrapbook i realize that there are conversations that have probably left my memory since summer; conversations i now wish i could be reminded of. i want someone to call me up and be like, 'sasha, do you remember when...?' what a sweet thing that would be. they'd be doing me a huge favor. and they wouldn't even know it.
there's something unforgettable about leaving home, and living and breathing and walking and existing thousands of miles away in an unknown world. a world that became familiar as the days progressed. as we inched closer to that day where we knew we'd say goodbye. i don't know how many others feel the way i have. i think about that trip nearly every day, and i dread the day that the descriptions of japan i give grow vague because i just can't recall the details.
then again, that's life. we forget things. and the cycle continues. world keeps turning, even if we don't want it to. and what a sad thought that is.
it's a beautiful place that i know i'll see again one day; with its culture and its people, the countryside, the city lights, the karaoke rooms, the 7/11s and warm rain beneath my bare feet on the sidewalk. the air on my skin. the heartache it brings being so far from all of it...
one day, though. nine days of my life, passed far too quickly, but one day.
because not returning just isn't an option.